The Special One lived up to his nickname once again on Friday by delivering a scathing, yet poetic assessment of Graeme Souness in retaliation for what the Scot said about Chelsea after their Champions League elimination in midweek.
Jose said: “I learned so much about him but also a certain kind of education, not just in football but also in life. So I prefer to laugh and say that envy is the biggest tribute that the shadows give to the man.”
It has since drawn comparisons to Eric Cantona’s spiel about seagulls and sardines because, like Mourinho’s views on Souness, we’re not really sure what he is talking about – but we know it’s brilliant all the same.
Here, The Shed Ender looks back on 10 other verbal gems from the Portuguese.
“The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs – no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.” The Special One’s analogy about the difficulty involved in buying the right players.
“Ricardo Carvalho seems to have problems understanding things, maybe he should have an IQ test, or go to a mental hospital or something.” In response to being criticised by Ricardo after dropping him.
“I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.” On Arsene Wenger in a rant which prompted the Frenchman to consider legal action!
“Two horses and a little horse that still needs milk and to learn how to jump. A horse that next season can race.” Describing Chelsea as the “little horse that needs milk” after struggling in the title race last season.
“Why drive Aston Martin all the time, when i have Ferrari and Porsche as well? That would just be stupid.” After being asked about rotating Damien Duff, Joe Cole and Arjen Robben – and becoming the first man in history to liken Duff to a supercar!
“Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy [Lionel Messi] has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting.” Accusing Messi of diving after Asier Del Horno was sent off in a Champions League clash with Barcelona in 2006.
“The way they are, tomorrow we will probably read I am to blame for the volcano. Maybe I have a friend in the volcano and I am responsible for that.” Jose’s brilliant tongue-in-cheek response after Barcelona complained about having to take a two-day coach trip to Milan after the Icelandic volcano erupted.
“Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good. Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don’t taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic… One thing is youth football, one thing is professional football. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the melon.” Another brilliant analogy, this time in regards to youth development.
“As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal. I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend. There was only one team looking to win, they only came not to concede – it’s not fair for the football we played.” Coining the now-famous ‘park the bus’ phrase.
“Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.” Nuff said.
Have we missed any gems? Let us know in the comments below.